Dieting and Children

I have problems with my weight for a while now. I mean, I'm not like, super morbid obese or anything, but I definitely have some poundage to shed. I was relatively thin before I got pregnant, and I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but I went from 150 to 220 in 9 months. I gained 70 pounds. To this day, I find it unbelievable. What I find even more unbelievable is the fact that I now weigh 180 lbs. I had a hard enough time staying thin before the baby, when he came, it totally got put on the back burner. I have had spurts where I was eating healthy and working out, but it just didn't last. My previous dieting technique was to not necessarily starve myself, but certainly not eat enough to satisfy my hunger.

Previously, I vowed to myself that I would never, ever, ever do the Atkins Diet. Any diet where you could eat mounds of bacon really seemed like a crock to me. Most people know how it works. You don't eat carbs, you eat a crap-ton of protein, and you lose weight like a mad person.

I will say right now that I am very easily persuaded, which I suppose is a good thing for a person wanting to go on a diet. I read several chapters of the Atkins Diet book, and was convinced that it was the diet for me. I am blessed to actually like vegetables, which are the staple food for the Atkins Diet.

I am in the very early stages now, this is like, my second day. I know this blog is primarily about raising children, but since the class I am writing it for is nearing the end of the semester, I am deciding to switch gears a little bit. I may make this a diary of sorts. How to combat weight loss, while still caring for your children and live a normal life. We'll see how it goes. I am really anxious to lose weight and feel better about myself. I want more energy to play with my son, I want to be less irritable, I want to be thin again, darnit! Just because I had a baby doesn't mean I am doomed to a life of out-of-shapeness. I am determined. This time, I mean it!

Having a Worry Free Life with Kids--Is it Possible?

Let me just answer that question right off the bat; in my experience, no. It's not. What happens, and again, this is only my experience, is that life goes on fairly uneventful for most of the time. And you forget that life can be unfair, evil, and scary. Until something happens. The most recent thing that happened wasn't necessarily directly affecting me, but really hit close to home.

7-month-old Mauled to Death by Rottweiler

As if this story didn't absolutely break my heart, I work with the father of the child. It was, and still is completely devastating to me. Granted, I am a very emotional person, but when something like that happens to a baby, I lose it.On top of that, it is a reality check right to the face. My family and I suddenly become so incredibly mortal in my eyes. I start to think about the things that could happen, and how lucky I am that nothing has happened. Leaving my son at daycare, I fear the worst. If my boyfriend doesn't answer the phone, I fear the worst.

I know it's normal to worry, and the way I see it, better safe than sorry. That expression didn't about for no reason. I just know that freak accidents happen, and of course, you think "that will never happen to me." In my eyes, as soon as you begin to think like that, something will happen.

But how do you live a normal life? You have to balance in between worrying and not becoming paranoid. Although at the end of the day, being paranoid may be the safest thing, it is not certainly not the most healthy way to live. But when bad things happen, it definitely makes you think for a while. I will always be better safe than sorry. But I'll try my best to not be super-paranoid.

My Attempt at Creating Food

I go through these periods where I just don't care what I eat--which basically means I don't care if it's healthy. Then, I get to a point where I actually start craving HEALTHY things. Which is a good thing in and of itself, but since I am terrible at cooking, it makes it harder to be able to cook meals that taste good. I am hoping to start out simple, and expand my horizons. And there really is nothing more simple than a sandwich, or in this case, a wrap. I took a few simple ingredients and made a pretty delicious lunch out of it. (Oh, I am also clearly lacking in the creative department, and really can't think of a name for it.)

Spinach-Turkey-Hummus Wrap

4 Slices of Turkey
2 Tablespoons of Joseph's Red Pepper Hummus
Baby Spinach
Spinach Wrap
Mayonnaise or other dressing

Put Ingredients into the wrap, and enjoy!

Now all I have to start working on is making my own hummus...

Having a Love Life After Kids--Is It Possible?

This is a question that I will not be able to answer, so this blog post will post likely me complaining with not real answers or info. I am out of answers.

For the most part, my life revolves around my son. I don't have much free time between working 2 jobs and going to school. So when the time is there, I enjoy spending it with my son. But, then, there is still my boyfriend. I love him dearly, but things just aren't the same. I think it's mostly our situation, but I just feel like our relationship has been put on the back burner. I wish it wasn't like this, I want to know how to fix it. But there just isn't any time. I envy people that still have great relationships. It has just been so hard, we are both so worn out, it is just extremely difficult to find time to fix things.

What can I do? Any advice?

Super Duper Easy Recipe time!

I love all food, and the easier the food, the better! This isn't all that healthy, but you could definitely replace the beef with ground turkey and that would cut back on the fat!

SLOPPY JOES

Eating Fast Food and Trying to Be Semi-Healthy

There are days when I just don't feel like cooking, no one feels like waiting around for me to find something to eat, or there just isn't time for dinner...and the Golden Arches are just calling to my tummy that has been rumbling for three hours.

While I was pregnant, I vowed to myself that I would never, ever feed my child fast food. But, like basically everything else in my life, it hasn't been as easy as I thought before I actually had to do it. So, if I do have to hit up the drive-thru, I try to remain semi-health conscious and also frugal.

Tap water-If people are grossed out with tap water, and trust me, I work in fast food, some people are, it's the same damn water that is going into your large Diet Coke! It's filtered, it's good for you, and most importantly, it's free!

Grilled Chicken-Almost every fast food joint has grilled chicken. And while most of that is still loaded with salt, on average, the grilled chicken has about 150 less calories, about half the fat, and if hold the mayo, that subtracts an additional 100 or so calories. So, while you may not lose weight from eating a grilled chicken sandwich from McDonald's, you can get it down to around 350 calories, which isn't too bad.

Apple Dippers/Fries-Certainly not as tasty as regular fries, but your thighs will thank you later.

Salad-I find it hilarious when people order a salad with fried chicken and ranch dressing. Ken's Ranch Dressing has a whopping 31% of your daily value for total fat! You'd be better off slapping a gob of mayonnaise on the top of your salad! Go for the grilled chicken with light dressing, no cheese. Cheese is the devil.

Chicken Nuggets-Not good for you really at all, but if you go with the four piece for the kid, with the apple fries and a low fat milk, well, it could be worse. And the Happy Meal comes with a toy!

Hamburger-Again, not the best choice, but if you get it with no mayonnaise or cheese, a small hamburger is only 2 hundred and something calories. And most places sell them for under a dollar.

That's all for now. I'm starving...

Kids and Technologies

It's scary. My not even two year old knows how to: Turn on the TV (with or without the remote) turn off the computer, use a mouse, bang on the keyboard, and open my cell phone and pretend to talk on it. My mom can't even do all of those things effectively.

"Playing" XBOX at 9 months old

I bounce back and forth between all this technology being good and bad for young children. Maybe if I make a list of the pros and cons, I can make a decision. Probably not, but we'll see.



***DISCLAIMER***

These pros and cons are strictly opinion based, as I don't feel the need to do scientific research. I have a kid, I know it all, so there. (This is not my journalistic ethic, for any who may be wondering. I just feel as though a blog should be a place where I can write freely and honestly.)

PROS

More information=more knowledge. Although much of the knowledge acquired on the internet is useless trivia, there is definitely more information available to us at the click of a button. I suppose this could be a pro or con.

CONS

Obviously, lack of exercise and lack of face to face communication are big problems.

These lists will be updated and added to weekly.

SPRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 20th marked the vernal equinox, and no one is more appreciative of this than us parents who have been cooped up in the house for the past 4 months with our bursting-with-energy little ones. Spring brings fresh air, green grass, and plently of opportunities to enjoy the pre-summer, and eventually summer weather. Here are some of my fave things to do.

Walks-Usually, my son hates being strapped in his car seat or in a grocery cart. But the minute I strap him into that stroller and let the wind breeze through his hair, he's in Heaven. And, it's a good way for you to get some exercise. I like going for long walks, especially in the evening, and just let the cool air melt our worries away. Not that the baby has any worries, but it certainly helps me.

Park-This can be incorporated in with your walk. Especially when it is not too hot out, the park is AWESOME. You get to relax and enjoy the fresh air, and your little ones can scream and run around and jump everywhere and not break anything or wake up the neighbors.

Lake-I love going to the lake. I like to close my eyes, sink my toes into the sand, and pretend I'm in Florida. Although I don't recommend closing your eyes unless you have someone with you to watch the kids. I would definitely be a lot more weary of going to the lake if I had more than one kid to look after.

Backyard-It's free, you don't have to drive anywhere, and when you're ready to leave, you just open your door. Also in your backyard, you can also have a bonfire or a cook out. Both of those things are great. But obviously, stay safe.

Kiddie Pool!!! I don't care how old I am, on a 90 degree day, nothing feels better for a poor person who can't afford a real pool, than to sit in a shallow, dirty piece of plastic getting jumped on by kids. I love summer!

Thinking about these things is really making me long for summer...

Breastfeeding and all of it's taboos



Photo Courtesy of http://www.visualphotos.com/

I once was sort of having a conversation with someone who said they felt that breastfeeding a toddler or older child was child abuse. That really made me have a WTF moment. I mean, if you were FORCING a child to breastfeed that didn't want to, that would certainly be child abuse. But anyone that has breastfed for any amount of time knows that the want to breastfeed is mutual. And, in my experience, the baby wants it much more than the mother does.

I think it's still kind of "taboo" in the United States for several reasons. In other countries, it is perfectly acceptable to breastfeed your child until they are three, four even five years old and older. In the United States, people are so quick to judge and so quick to assume that any mother breastfeeding an older toddler must be creepy or weird. The fact of the matter is, it's not wrong. There have been various studies done with varying results, so I'm not going to try to prove anything. It has been said that breastfeeding can help fight obesity. The reason being that the baby will stop when he is full, rather than stop when the bottle is empty.

I suppose people can argue against breastfeeding. I can't really think of any reasons why. It's natural, it's beautiful, and it's right.

Save Some Money, Get Some Great Deals

They're out there, deals. It's just about searching and searching until you've found the best. If you're like me, you don't want to search forever. Here are some ideas that can get you pointed in the right direction.

Consignment Shops-Some people have a lot of money. So they buy a lot of nice things. And babies grow out of clothes and toys and other accessories super fast. So you can find a lot of bargains on nice stuff in these shops.

EBay, Craigslist, etc-Same concept as the consignment shop. But you can do it in your underwear! I love how that's the best thing about being able to do anything on the internet.

Yard Sales-Eh, not my first choice. But if you pick a really fancy neighborhood, you might be able to find some pretty nice stuff.

Walmart-'Nuff said.

KMart-They are basically (along with Sears because they are owned by the same company) the only big box store that does lay-a-way. That's how I did most of my Christmas shopping this year, and it's a pretty good deal if you don't have the money up front but you don't want a credit card.

Hand-Me-Downs-Yeah, those are pretty great. 'Cause they're free.

My personal advice-Don't even pay full price for something that you don't have to.

More Quick and Easy dinners...

A couple that I have made over the past week...just to warn you, I really like cooking chicken. 'Cause it's easy. And tasty. I like to keep it simple.

Orange Chicken

Much more healthy than the Chinese Food version, but just as tasty. And super simple. The recipe sounds pretty gross, but the salty/sweet combo is just what your taste buds need. Trust me.

MORE CHICKEN (and TATERS)!!!

I love mashed potatoes. But I don't like cooking. And cooking mashed potatoes is a long process which includes washing, peeling and cooking. But I more recently discovered potatoes in a bag. And you can then microwave those potatoes and put them in a bowl, mash them up, but a little milk and butter on them, and presto, you have mashed potatoes. Never, ever, EVER buy the frozen ones or the ones in the can. Yuck. 

Top the potato extravaganza off with this recipe:

Brown Sugar Chicken

Image Courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

And Part II....

In contrast to the blog I just recently posted...There are a lot of thngs you DON'T need to be a parent, but of course, there are essentials. Some things, yeah, they just plain come in handy, and there are things that really do just need to keep you sanity. Here's my list:

Swing-Yeah, babies like to swing. And it keeps them happy so you can do dishes, other clean, or just have five minutes to yourself.

Desitin-It works miracles. Diapers rashes can be pretty terrible, and this stuff really hits the spot.

Winter-time related items:

Warm snuggly type snow suit-So much easier to just bundle them up in this instead of putting on 10 different pieces of clothing.

Car Seat Cover-Easy to slip on and off, and keeps baby super warm, head to toe.

Toys with lights-Just another entertainment mechanism.

Window Cover-I was always too cheap to find one that actually worked well, but there were times when that sun was shining right into the car and really wish I had one.

Onesies-Great for Summer when it's just too darn hot.

Exersaucer-Gets baby moving, but still keeps them confined and safe.

I'm sure there are more, but I'm ready for bed.

Back on Track Now...

This blog has been all over the place. I'm gonna try to get back on track here. I was thinking about being a new mom, and all of the things we worry about whilst pregnant. I think a common concern, especially amongst us mommies on a budget. For me, it was particularly hard, because I was extremely financially unprepared for a baby. I was lucky enough to have a lot of help with the essentials, because my boyfriends family already has several small children, so I will be forever appreciating hand-me-downs. But I still spent the entire nine months of my pregnancy wondering what I truly needed, and what I didn't really need, no matter how much I wanted it.

Obviously, everything out there has it's perks, if you can afford it. But here are the things that I find you can go without, if you have to.

Diaper Genie-OK, yeah. Diapers stink. But just put the excess poop in the toilet, and then wrap the dirty diaper in a couple of shopping bags. Sorry to make it sound so simple, but it really is.

Changing Station-I actually had one of these, and still haven't used it. I did use the mat from it though, and just toss that on the floor and change the diaper like that. So, the mat costs like 15 bucks. Changing stations vary in price, but certainly more than 15 bucks.

Baby Carrier-This is just my experience. I had 3 different baby carriers, and hated all of them. Including the "Moby Wrap" which was supposed to be like, a miracle baby carrier. I'm sure they are some use to some people, but I found it much easier to just carry my son. Plus, it's a great workout.

Bassinet-I don't really think having a bassinet is a bad investment, but my son slept in a bassinet, and then when he grew out of the bassinet, I had gotten so used to him being in our room that I felt that he had to sleep in our bed. If at all possible, start them in the crib. You will be thankful much later when you don't have a two year sleeping in between your and your partner every night. It makes alone time very difficult.

Expensive Outfits-Especially if they are born in the summer. They will be wearing onesies a lot, and they grow out of the cute little outfits so fast that there are some clothes my son had that he either only wore once or didn't wear at all.

Breast Pump-If you qualify for WIC, you have a couple of options. If you either stay at home or work part time, you are eligible for a free manual breast pump. If you work full time, you are actually eligible to borrow a hospital grade electric breast pump. So if you plan on going back to work, save yourself 100-300 dollars and go this route.

Expensive Diapers-Again, this is just my experience. But I have used most brands of diapers, and honestly, the best diaper I have used is the Walmart brand. I do like the Pampers, but the others (Huggies and Luvs) are junk. And an 84 pack of Walmart diapers is 13.67, compare that to Pampers 25 bucks, and I'd say that's a pretty good price.

Your Baby Can Read-Replace "Your Baby Can Read" with some books, flash cards, and parental attention and you will have saved yourself 80 dollars.

Obviously, people will disagree with me on these, but it's just my experience, and my blog, and I can say whatever I want. So there.

Quick meals. Like, really quick..

I really don't like it when I try to look up "quick" meals online. "Quick" can sometimes mean 30 minutes to an hour. Sometimes I have about 10 minutes to prepare, cook, and serve dinner. I know some people are also pressed for time, so here are just a few "super quick" recipes that I have found to be appetizing. There are only a few, but for one, my son is super picky, and for two, I am not a good cook, so I look for simple recipes.

Mac and Cheese



Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

This one actually takes about as long as the kind in the box, but tastes a lot better.

Foreman Grilled Turkey Burgers

Ok, so that above recipe tells you to bake them, but it is so much faster (and probably tastier) on a Foreman Grill. The small ones are relatively inexpensive, and the possibilities are endless. I definitely recommend purchasing one if you need to make quick meals.

Hiding Depression from your Children

I suffer with anxiety and depression. And yes, I am ashamed by it. I know I shouldn't be, but that doesn't stop the fact that I wish I were normal. But I'm not, and life events haven't made it easier to get it under control.

A little background information. My boyfriend and I met in May of 2008, didn't start dating until August. I literally moved out of my ex-boyfriends house, and move into my now boyfriend's house the next day. I was madly in love. It was the most amazing relationship I could have asked for. We were best friends. I was on cloud nine.

September 2008

Skip forward not even two months later. We were still in the midst of our honeymoon stage. And then, I missed my period. It didn't really phase me too much, I had bouts of time when I didn't have my period due to weight loss. I had just lost about 15 pounds, so I assumed it could have been that. But, to be cautious, I took a pregnancy test. October 6th, 2008, I found out I was pregnant..

My life came crashing down around me. I was not even close to the point where I could be financially stable, I was still in school, and I still wanted to be a kid! My byfriend and I had been together for two months! We were both lost. I was more so than him. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that abortion didn't cross my mind multiple times. And I believe if it weren't for my boyfriend's love and support, I may have gone through with it. It's a horrible thing to think about, but that was reality.

I had already dealt with mental issues before this happened, now, I lost my mind. I felt like my life was over. But, I had accepted the fact that I was pregnant, and soon began to welcome the idea of having a baby.

It's an amazing thing, what happens to you when you become a parent. The love you feel for your child is an overwhelming emotion. You are scared, excited, anxious, all at the same time. But love conquers all. And after 14 hours labor, I saw my son for the first time. And all was right in the world. For the moment.

Moments after coming out of my womb.

I knew I was going to have postpartum depression. I just didn't want to think about it. And then it came. And I had to think about it. I feel like a horrible person for the things that I've thought. No, I haven't thought about killing my baby, or even remotely hurting my baby, but it was other things. Thinking about what life was like before I had the baby. How much easier life was. How I wasn't a kid anymore, how life wasn't fair. How I would have done things differently if I could do it again. The two months of heaven I had with my boyfriend kept running through my mind. It made me angry that this happened to us, and so on and so on. How could I wish those things? I start bawling just thinking about it. And there are still times, when I DO think those things.

I've been to the doctor, off and on. The only anti-depressant that I have found to be effective is my son. At the end of the day, no matter how much life sucks, he is always there for me. I will openly admit I am in the biggest rut of my life. On the outside, I seem relatively normal. On the inside, I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I can think logically, and use common sense to cure my depression. Go to the doctor, talk about my problems, take the pills. I'm still working on not being so cynical about it. Or, I could just live through it everyday and pretend like it's just going to get better on it's own. Which, it probably won't.

I guess the point of this blog is, I feel obligated to hide my depression around my son. He is an innocent, perfect, beautiful creature who doesn't deserve misery at such a young age, or ever for that matter. If I had my way, I wouldn't work, I wouldn't go to school, I would lay in bed all day and eat Cheetos. But, the sane part of my brain, however small of a part that may be, knows better. I do this for my son. Even if I am suffering, I don't feel like my son needs to. And hopefully, I will find a way that works for me to cure my depression. I wish someone had an easy answer. But I know there's no easy answer. I must look for one on my own.

This will all pay off in the end--but in the meantime, I'm gonna be ticked off

Being a parent isn't easy. Being a parent, and being poor, that's even harder. It's one thing trying to get back on your feet, but doing it while making sure that your children are fed and happy, well, that's a whole different story.

You'd think that I would be a perfect candidate to get some help from our welfare system. I am a single mother, albeit, I am in a stable relationship with the child's father, we are still struggling to make ends meet and make a better life for ourselves.

I am in school, full-time, and my fiance, he works full-time. He doesn't have a great job, it helps pay the bills, but not so much that I don't have to work. But he's  putting his life on hold so I am able to finish school and get a better job, so hopefully he will be able to go to school when I have a better paying job.

But here's the catch: To be able to live semi-comfortably (aka not live off of macaroni and cheese and not overdraft on our bank account every week, which still sometimes happens anyway,) I have to work. I am really not trying to complain here, but I am struggling. I would truly like to be an advocate for people such as myself. WE CANNOT GET HELP FROM THE STATE. Although we are the prime example of people that SHOULD be being helped by the state.

There is a program called TANF (Temporary Aid for Needy Families). We are a needy family who needs temporary help. But because I work my a$$ off, and didn't immediately go to the State for help instead of continuing to work and go to school throughout my entire pregnancy and after I gave birth, I am now ineligible for help.

40 weeks and ready to pop!

                              

I wouldn't even want to stop working completely, because I have a great part time job. But my other part-time job, yeah, pretty terrible. It's borderline depressing pretty much everytime I have to work there. And it really, really, REALLY cuts into my time that I could be using to do homework and spend precious time with my precious son.

So adorable,  I know!

I went to the Department of Health and Human Services asked them what would happen if I quit one of my jobs. I would then, under their guidelines, be eligible for TANF, because I would be "underemployed." They told me that it would be illegal to do so. It would be illegal for me to quit one of my part- time jobs because  am struggling to get through everyday, and only having to work part-time would help me be able to do my school work and spend a little bit of time with my son? This would be a very temporary situation, as I only have one full semester left of school. I have to take two summer classes, and one class next semester (I just had to write that out because it is so exciting!) But I would only need very little assistance for a very short period of time. But I guess I am expected to struggle through these next three months. I have been doing it for almost three years now, I guess three more months will be a breeze.

So, riddle me this, State of Maine. Money that is given to families for TANF can be used for ANYTHING. The "welfare card" can be used as a debit card to be used at an ATM, or even used at the store to buy items such as cigarettes and alcohol. And since you can get cash at an ATM, the money can also be used to buy drugs.

Look, I know not everyone is out to abuse the system. But they are out there. Just like there are people like me out there. The only difference is, is that they get help, and I don't. And while I think it's great that people are now only eligible for 60 months of TANF, that's five years! That's five years more than what I am getting.

I clearly have no argument here, because if people are allowed to use TANF money to purchase anything they want without a second glance by the state (there are no drug tests, they don't need to show any receipts) either they are totally and utterly oblivous, or they just don't care. My guess is the latter. But how can they be OK with this? If people are allowed to buy cigarettes and alcohol with state money, that just ensures that these people will need more medical help than a drug-free person. This leads the state to have to spend MORE money on these people, because they sure as heck aren't spending any money on their own healthcare, MaineCare will cover it all for them.

I have also been kind of non-partisan, (aka I never cared much for politics and certainly didn't want to take sides, because I feel all politicians are full of it). But the idea of not dishing out money to these people for their medical problems caused by the use of drugs and alcohol is a nobel one. I will say that MaineCare has been amazing. It is basically free healthcare, with little-to-no out of pocket costs. We wouldn't have been able to survive without it. This life hasn't been all hell, it really hasn't been hell at all. But my frustrations still exist with the system-those people who need the help, the people that this program was designed for, can't get the TEMPORARY help they need. I can just hope to look back at this and be proud of what I have done, but for now, it sucks, I will begrudgingly go through the next year or so of my life, struggling to make ends meet. And then I will owe my students loans. And that will be a whole nother chapter.

My Baby is Having a Temper Tantrum-and Everyone's Looking at ME

I really think the terrible twos is a misnomer-OK, everyone is saying that it gets worse once they turn two. But us parents to under-two-year-olds don't get any credit. They still have temper tantrums, the only difference: They don't weigh 40+ pounds and you can semi-control them. But it is much more frustrating for both baby and parent, because, well, there are times when I can't figure out what's wrong. And even more frustrating yet, sometimes there isn't anything wrong.

Of course, every parent gloats about how their baby should be the winner of the next Pulitzer, (by the way, read about Joseph Pulitzer and you wonder why they chose his name). That's kind of like celebrating Christopher Columbus, but whatever. Back to the point. My son is smart. And smart in the way that I was smart. I knew how to get what I wanted. And my Mom always, always, ALWAYS told me that all the things I did to her would come back to me someday. Seriously, my son is not even 2 years old and he goes from 0-60 in .00000023434 seconds if he doesn't get what he wants. He even exaggerates it when he's in public!

Going to the grocery store used to be our favorite trip. He would just sit there in his infant seat and ooh and ahh at all the lights and people. Now, he refuses to sit in the cart. He wants to walk. And the moment you give in, forget it. He wants nothing else than to run around the store, running into people and ripping things off the shelf. If no one else was in the store, it would be adorable. But people seem so annoyed by babies! He's seriously the cutest thing in the world, how could you possibly be annoyed by this?

So, I pick him up, screaming, squirming, kicking, did I mention screaming? And everyone is looking at me like they are about to pick up the phone and call Child Services. And nothing, NOTHING, not even a donut hole, will make him happy.

My advice for this? If you are lucky enough, like I am, to have a significant other who goes to the grocery store with you, make sure you have him/her with you. Take anyone really, so when the little one throws a fit, you can take him/her to the car. It's what I have to do, and when all else fails, it saves everyone some trouble.

I know I shouldn't feel proud that my son is needy. It is a good feeling knowing that you have taken such good care of your baby that if he doesn't get what he wants is 2.3 seconds, he throws a fit. But then again, I wonder how long this will last. I get that he's a baby, but everyone says it gets worse before it gets better. And while I enjoy spoiling my son, I fear that too much of this catering-to-his-every-whim will turn him into a monster by the time he's five.

Then I sit back and think, should I really worry about this? He's not even two, and he's healthy, happy and chubby. I've decided to let things happen more naturally, for now. If there's anything I've learned from being a parent, life goes on. No matter how much I read and how much I try to change things, things happen the way they do for a reason. That is seriously corny and I'll probably look back at this later and think of how lame I was. But for now, it's comforting.

Having an Epiphany....Yay

I've had an epiphany that I really have no good advice for parents. I am just lost as anyone when it comes to raising children. I have been taking it one day at a time...and realized that I have many, many more questions than I do answers.

Maybe I should take a new approach. I am contemplating, just for now, making my blog full of questions that I don't know the answer to. Maybe I can get some advice from others out there, just for now. Because at the moment I am not feeling experienced enough to give others advice. I am only 24 years old, and have only been a parent for 19 months! I'm feeling incredibly underqualified.

My most recent issue that I am having as a parent to a toddler is the fact that I have let my son sleep in my bed since he was approximately 5 months old. My problem now, is not only the fact that he is so incredibly attached to me that he has a temper tantrum everytime I leave the room, but the fact that I couldn't imagine him sleeping in a seperate bed, much less a seperate room. (He's so cute when he's mad!) In fact, his room, which is painted green with an jungle theme with a brand new never used crib, is being used as our storage room. That's just one more excuse to keep him in our room.

I have read pros and cons of cosleeping. While I do believe that it causes attachment to the parents, is there really anything wrong with that at such a young age? While my son does have a fit everytime I leave, he is always fine immediately after, and it kind of gives me a good feeling, like I have done something right for him to want me all the time, right? On the other hand, if it doesn't stop soon, he will be a big boy who should be in a big boy bed. And I only have a queen size bed, and sometimes I would definitely like some alone time, which I basically never have.

Another problem is breastfeeding. I still (proudly) breast feed my son, I certainly didn't plan on it, but after a certain point it's just the norm. And, my son has a temper tantrum if he isn't allowed to breast feed. For people that think breast feeding a 19 month old is weird, go here. It's not something I go parading around, but I am pro-breastfeeding, and I think that Americans need to warm up to the fact that breastfeeding your toddler isn't weird, just because that's how our society views it.

But, back to the point. Whenever my son wakes up, he wants to breastfeed. It has become so easy to just have him in the bed. I understand that I will have to wean him to get him out of the bed, because he is just too attached physically and emotionally. I think I also put it off because at the end of the day, I am usually so exhausted that I would just like to sleep, and having my son in my bed is the just the easiest thing to do at the end of the day. That is just laziness on my part, but I feel like I have an excuse. I'm tired, darnit.

Anyway, I've ranted enough. I hope I have come up with a few ideas for my next blog. Or, I could just complain some more. I haven't decided yet.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

School can probably be the most annoying, frustrating, boring thing that has ever been created.

That was the attitude that I was allowed to have before I had a baby. Now, I can't be that immature. But why? It's not fair!

Ok, I'm over it. But seriously, school sucks. I guess it's not so much the school part that sucks, but the homework. And what's even more frustrating than doing homework is actually getting the motivation to do homework, only to have a fussy, sick, or otherwise just plain old miserable baby to take care of.

Whether it's homework, or work-related, or just wanting five minutes to yourself, you can't do anything with your child without someone making you feel guilty. TV rots their brains, daycare is the devil, and Grammy doesn't want to babysit anymore after the penny-in-the-nose incident last time she watched them.

I work full-time, go to school full-time, and enjoy working out. I have had to improvise a bit to make sure that my son is happy and I don't lose my mind.

1. Not everyone will agree with me, and I have no scientific evidence to back this up, but I don't believe that TV (in MODERATION) will hurt anybody. My mom openly admits that my brother used to watch ET 3 times a day while she just sat there and rocked in her rocking chair. My brother is going into his first year of grad school, and he plans on being a medical scientist. While I don't believe ET helped my brother, it clearly didn't hurt him. Keep it in moderation. Just like cake.

2. Daycare is sometimes necessary. Don't feel guilty. The daycare my son attends is known as "early head start" where the actually have a curriculum and it's basically like pre-preschool. It is an opportunity for my son to spend time with children his own age and they actually teach him stuff too. He only has to go 3 days a week, so his father and I still have plenty of time to spend with him.

3. I have recently discovered that going to the gym takes way too much time. Going there, waiting for machines, coming home...what should be 45 minutes turns into an hour and a half. I recently discovered that workout tapes only take about a half an hour, and I have never been so sore after doing those. They force you to do moves and exercises you wouldn't normally do at the gym. Plus, if you have a big enough space, your children can "exercise" with you (mine just tries to dance with me, but it's darn cute.)

4. If you need to do homework, again, let your child "help" you. Set up some paper and crayons and let them have at it. Just keep them away from walls.

5. Toys. My son will just sit there for hours and play with his toys. He will even look at books by himself. If you really need to get some homework done, just set them up with some toys and let them go wild. There will be a mess, however, it should be fairly easy to clean up.

I know most of those are pretty obvious ways to give yourself some time, but sometimes you just need a reminder that you "don't have to perfect to be a perfect parent." (Quoted from those foster parenting commercials).

Future topics will include healthy eating for the family, money (or lack there of) budgeting, keeping yourself sane during the winter, and more.