My Baby is Having a Temper Tantrum-and Everyone's Looking at ME

I really think the terrible twos is a misnomer-OK, everyone is saying that it gets worse once they turn two. But us parents to under-two-year-olds don't get any credit. They still have temper tantrums, the only difference: They don't weigh 40+ pounds and you can semi-control them. But it is much more frustrating for both baby and parent, because, well, there are times when I can't figure out what's wrong. And even more frustrating yet, sometimes there isn't anything wrong.

Of course, every parent gloats about how their baby should be the winner of the next Pulitzer, (by the way, read about Joseph Pulitzer and you wonder why they chose his name). That's kind of like celebrating Christopher Columbus, but whatever. Back to the point. My son is smart. And smart in the way that I was smart. I knew how to get what I wanted. And my Mom always, always, ALWAYS told me that all the things I did to her would come back to me someday. Seriously, my son is not even 2 years old and he goes from 0-60 in .00000023434 seconds if he doesn't get what he wants. He even exaggerates it when he's in public!

Going to the grocery store used to be our favorite trip. He would just sit there in his infant seat and ooh and ahh at all the lights and people. Now, he refuses to sit in the cart. He wants to walk. And the moment you give in, forget it. He wants nothing else than to run around the store, running into people and ripping things off the shelf. If no one else was in the store, it would be adorable. But people seem so annoyed by babies! He's seriously the cutest thing in the world, how could you possibly be annoyed by this?

So, I pick him up, screaming, squirming, kicking, did I mention screaming? And everyone is looking at me like they are about to pick up the phone and call Child Services. And nothing, NOTHING, not even a donut hole, will make him happy.

My advice for this? If you are lucky enough, like I am, to have a significant other who goes to the grocery store with you, make sure you have him/her with you. Take anyone really, so when the little one throws a fit, you can take him/her to the car. It's what I have to do, and when all else fails, it saves everyone some trouble.

I know I shouldn't feel proud that my son is needy. It is a good feeling knowing that you have taken such good care of your baby that if he doesn't get what he wants is 2.3 seconds, he throws a fit. But then again, I wonder how long this will last. I get that he's a baby, but everyone says it gets worse before it gets better. And while I enjoy spoiling my son, I fear that too much of this catering-to-his-every-whim will turn him into a monster by the time he's five.

Then I sit back and think, should I really worry about this? He's not even two, and he's healthy, happy and chubby. I've decided to let things happen more naturally, for now. If there's anything I've learned from being a parent, life goes on. No matter how much I read and how much I try to change things, things happen the way they do for a reason. That is seriously corny and I'll probably look back at this later and think of how lame I was. But for now, it's comforting.

Having an Epiphany....Yay

I've had an epiphany that I really have no good advice for parents. I am just lost as anyone when it comes to raising children. I have been taking it one day at a time...and realized that I have many, many more questions than I do answers.

Maybe I should take a new approach. I am contemplating, just for now, making my blog full of questions that I don't know the answer to. Maybe I can get some advice from others out there, just for now. Because at the moment I am not feeling experienced enough to give others advice. I am only 24 years old, and have only been a parent for 19 months! I'm feeling incredibly underqualified.

My most recent issue that I am having as a parent to a toddler is the fact that I have let my son sleep in my bed since he was approximately 5 months old. My problem now, is not only the fact that he is so incredibly attached to me that he has a temper tantrum everytime I leave the room, but the fact that I couldn't imagine him sleeping in a seperate bed, much less a seperate room. (He's so cute when he's mad!) In fact, his room, which is painted green with an jungle theme with a brand new never used crib, is being used as our storage room. That's just one more excuse to keep him in our room.

I have read pros and cons of cosleeping. While I do believe that it causes attachment to the parents, is there really anything wrong with that at such a young age? While my son does have a fit everytime I leave, he is always fine immediately after, and it kind of gives me a good feeling, like I have done something right for him to want me all the time, right? On the other hand, if it doesn't stop soon, he will be a big boy who should be in a big boy bed. And I only have a queen size bed, and sometimes I would definitely like some alone time, which I basically never have.

Another problem is breastfeeding. I still (proudly) breast feed my son, I certainly didn't plan on it, but after a certain point it's just the norm. And, my son has a temper tantrum if he isn't allowed to breast feed. For people that think breast feeding a 19 month old is weird, go here. It's not something I go parading around, but I am pro-breastfeeding, and I think that Americans need to warm up to the fact that breastfeeding your toddler isn't weird, just because that's how our society views it.

But, back to the point. Whenever my son wakes up, he wants to breastfeed. It has become so easy to just have him in the bed. I understand that I will have to wean him to get him out of the bed, because he is just too attached physically and emotionally. I think I also put it off because at the end of the day, I am usually so exhausted that I would just like to sleep, and having my son in my bed is the just the easiest thing to do at the end of the day. That is just laziness on my part, but I feel like I have an excuse. I'm tired, darnit.

Anyway, I've ranted enough. I hope I have come up with a few ideas for my next blog. Or, I could just complain some more. I haven't decided yet.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

School can probably be the most annoying, frustrating, boring thing that has ever been created.

That was the attitude that I was allowed to have before I had a baby. Now, I can't be that immature. But why? It's not fair!

Ok, I'm over it. But seriously, school sucks. I guess it's not so much the school part that sucks, but the homework. And what's even more frustrating than doing homework is actually getting the motivation to do homework, only to have a fussy, sick, or otherwise just plain old miserable baby to take care of.

Whether it's homework, or work-related, or just wanting five minutes to yourself, you can't do anything with your child without someone making you feel guilty. TV rots their brains, daycare is the devil, and Grammy doesn't want to babysit anymore after the penny-in-the-nose incident last time she watched them.

I work full-time, go to school full-time, and enjoy working out. I have had to improvise a bit to make sure that my son is happy and I don't lose my mind.

1. Not everyone will agree with me, and I have no scientific evidence to back this up, but I don't believe that TV (in MODERATION) will hurt anybody. My mom openly admits that my brother used to watch ET 3 times a day while she just sat there and rocked in her rocking chair. My brother is going into his first year of grad school, and he plans on being a medical scientist. While I don't believe ET helped my brother, it clearly didn't hurt him. Keep it in moderation. Just like cake.

2. Daycare is sometimes necessary. Don't feel guilty. The daycare my son attends is known as "early head start" where the actually have a curriculum and it's basically like pre-preschool. It is an opportunity for my son to spend time with children his own age and they actually teach him stuff too. He only has to go 3 days a week, so his father and I still have plenty of time to spend with him.

3. I have recently discovered that going to the gym takes way too much time. Going there, waiting for machines, coming home...what should be 45 minutes turns into an hour and a half. I recently discovered that workout tapes only take about a half an hour, and I have never been so sore after doing those. They force you to do moves and exercises you wouldn't normally do at the gym. Plus, if you have a big enough space, your children can "exercise" with you (mine just tries to dance with me, but it's darn cute.)

4. If you need to do homework, again, let your child "help" you. Set up some paper and crayons and let them have at it. Just keep them away from walls.

5. Toys. My son will just sit there for hours and play with his toys. He will even look at books by himself. If you really need to get some homework done, just set them up with some toys and let them go wild. There will be a mess, however, it should be fairly easy to clean up.

I know most of those are pretty obvious ways to give yourself some time, but sometimes you just need a reminder that you "don't have to perfect to be a perfect parent." (Quoted from those foster parenting commercials).

Future topics will include healthy eating for the family, money (or lack there of) budgeting, keeping yourself sane during the winter, and more.